that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
