dude i'm inner monologue high
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
