How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
