hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i believe in u and ur pee
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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