We won't sleep together?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
