Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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