he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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