I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
