evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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