Everything about him screamed your future.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
