When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
where am i from again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
