I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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