JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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