Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
