remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
