when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
