So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
