so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
