You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
