You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
