he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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