I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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