do herpes really smell.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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