Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it because I queefed?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
