Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
