You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
