she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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