So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
