I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize