let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
