OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
