I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
True strength comes from lack of pants
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
