gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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