As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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