I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
