R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
