it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
