Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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