you didnt know i had herpes?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Bring me that man meat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
