Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think my vagina is haunted
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
