Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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