Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
