My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I need a burrito and a hug.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
