I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
