it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
