I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
