I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
