We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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