I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
