why didn't you poke me back
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
