My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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