fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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