Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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