idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
