There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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