Is it because I queefed?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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