I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
