remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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