fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
