My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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